This Dating Coach’s 48-Hour Rule Could Change How You Judge First Dates
· Vice
How long into a first date can you tell whether you’re interested in the person? For many, it’s almost immediate—and they’ll even completely write off their date before getting to know them.
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Sure, you might know pretty quickly whether or not you’re attracted to the person. However, that can also build over time, even if it’s not present right away.
According to Julie Nguyen, a certified dating coach at the Hily Dating App, most people reach their verdict way too quickly. To address this modern dating fault, she came up with the”48-hour rule,” which gives you two full days after a first date to decide whether you want a second one.
“The 48-hour rule is about adding spaciousness to your decision-making. Before you veto or confirm the date, give yourself two days to think it over,” she explains. “Instead of analyzing every detail of the date, pay attention to how your feelings settle over time and what remains once the initial intensity passes. After the 48-hour mark, check your emotions and your answer about going on the date.”
If you want to give the 48-hour rule a shot, here are four signals to look for during the two-day, post-date period.
1. Your Body Feels Calm
Our bodies communicate to us, and if yours is feeling calm and at ease, that’s a great sign. In fact, the “chemistry” we typically feel with new romantic interests is often anxiety and uncertainty.
“There is an inherent uncertainty when we don’t feel safe, which can feel exciting when we get that dopamine hit from a text message or some form of verbal validation,” says Nguyen. “We often mistake this intensity for attraction when it’s really the nervous system staying on alert. A more reliable signal is a calmer one: feeling relaxed, settled, and at ease in the connection. That kind of chemistry usually takes a few days to reveal itself.”
2. You Remember the Specifics of the Date, Not Just the Chemistry
Anyone can remember how attracted they were to someone or the butterflies they felt on their first date. Pay closer attention to the personal details and information you retained.
“Infatuation is fleeting and mercurial, shifting constantly. But if you’re finding yourself laughing about a funny joke they made, or mulling over an observation they made, that’s something worth paying attention to,” says Nguyen. “Those moments suggest that you are connecting with the person themselves, and there’s something here worth digging into.”
3. You’re Curious About Them
You can’t expect certainty after just one date, but you can expect curiosity, which is a great sign of potential romantic interest.
“Let’s say you’re back in your day-to-day life and your imagination starts to drift. If you find yourself daydreaming about your date and thinking of more questions about who they are, that’s a strong sign to commit to another date,” Nguyen says. “Curiosity is a powerful signal of lasting attraction, and in today’s attention economy, it means a lot that someone is continuing to hold your attention past the 48-hour mark.”
4. You Feel Like Yourself
Anyone who makes you feel like you can be yourself off the bat is someone worth getting to know, even if it’s just a second date.
“Feeling expanded and letting your guard down is a positive sign that there’s something authentic to explore,” says Nguyen. “Real chemistry goes beyond performance and creates a sense of ease. You’re not managing how you come across and can be your authentic self.”
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